Thread:Dmitrij666/@comment-36277500-20190707164135/@comment-36277500-20190712111443

Hi. I'm just fighting depression by wasting my time by playing cellphone games :P

Yes, I'm a woman. I'm also asexual but romantic, what complicates my relationships with heterosexual men. I'm in love with my former boss (in another hospital, not the last one I was bullied in - he wouldn't allow this if he was my actual boss) who's about 20 years older than me - I like older men. And I think he's also not uninterested in me, but since I happened to be a center of a scandal, we cannot meet to not put our reputations at risk (he's a consultant and married man, and I am in kind of predicament).

If you read my post in Cameron Levy's topic, you know that I was severely bullied in high school (mostly for being a massive nerd and dork, but later harassing became sexual: innuendos, vulgar names, and later groping and rape threats). I tried to fight them, so I got also mark of a troublemaker (school would rather punish me than culprits - it was easier for them to turn blind eye)... I preferred death than disgrace, so I tried to commit suicide BEFORE they rape me. After this attempt the harassment stopped, because the police started investigation and school covered the scandal... because son of the former headmaster was one who started it, and when I turned him down, in act of revenge he sent boys from his village to harass me - that's why I couldn't identify them, they weren't from my town (highschool in my city provided also neighbouring villages). I hope it explains my teachers' behaviour in this situation.

Yes, I considered changing my sex, but didn't do it. However, I was traumatized for years and used to hide the fact I'm a woman, before I felt safe enough to show myself. As some friend told me: patients like to know whether they talk to man or woman.

In medical school I was also bullied for being different, but this time by bunch of pretentious girls in Becca Davenport's type, what led me to a depression episode lasting about year (from winter 2006 to winter 2007). But I recovered and had no recurrences since then.

And... bullies in my workplace digged in my past, so thed dragged out every dirt they found on me. They twisted the facts and propagated the "enhanced" version (that I had a schizophrenia and was treated by force) in many hospitals in the whole city and neighboring cities. They slandered me to be a crazy psycho, to make Medical Chamber believe ridiculous accusation they made (they wrote that I'm drunk or drugged in the workplace, that I'm unable and unwilling to do the simplest procedures, that I'm a threat to the patients etc.). I asked for full psychiatric diagnosis in an university clinic, that proven that I'm not and never had been a psycho, but Medical Chamber was too proud to admit that they condemned innocent person, even if they eventually admit that they were fooled and dragged into someone's personal conflict. So my case is still on the court.