Talk:Andy Kang/@comment-33525200-20171102021355/@comment-33453162-20171110235552

Fearless Diva You think you aren't too sensitive, just as he thinks he wasn't transphobic. And of the two of you, he is tthe one closer to the truth. By calling him transphobic, you completely devaluate the meaning of the word. Acceptance, just as sexuality, isn't a binary thing. It doesn't work like, 'you either completely accept the progressive ways, or you are homophobic/transphobic/racist/misogynist/etc'  One can't expect full acceptance when isn't understanding about people who are not quite there yet. I saw the advice the Wikia staff member gave you. If you EVER wanna change people's mind about something, don't even think about using that analogy. Nowadays liberal people (I consider myself liberal too, but not to THAT extent) tend to use words that have bad meaning so easily, it became counterproductive. While racist means people who consider a certain race inferior and hate everybody of that race, while homophobic means people who want to punish homosexuals, or at least banish them from society, while misogynist means people (men) who consider women inferior to men, and believe that women shouldn't be allowed to do certain things men do... so while these words mean these awful things, no decent person wants to be associated with them. But now? You can be called racist for telling an unharmful joke that's based on a stereotype about a certain (or more) race. You can be called homophobic if you are accepting homosexuals, but (silently) disturbed by explicit same-sex affection display. You can be called misogynist if you believe in equality, but refuse to blindly believe everything feminists say. I could go on. When it's so easy to be called these awful things, people simply stop feeling bad when they are called either of them.

Just to share my personal ideology of how to live life... I really don't mind when a guy tells me a misogynistic joke, as I can reply with some burn on guys in general. When I'm called out for being a lesbian (not in a rude way, just ignorantly), by somebody who doesn't understand how it is, I either just let it go, or stop and calmly explain it them first. The best possible reaction is to stay calm and nice about it. Just to use a personal example, when I told my current girlfriend (then just friend) that I was a lesbian, her first reaction was to ask stupid things that were based on false stereotypes about lesbians. She didn't understand it, but I knew she didn't, so I had to be understanding about her ignorance. And her reactions were waaay closer to be homophobic, than Dudey111's words to be transphobic. Sorry, if I'm not explaining correctly, it would be difficult even in my own language. My point is, when you are different, you have to grow a thicker skin than the avarage, as people (without personal experience) won't understand you at first. And they will be stupid about who you are. If you act sensitively because of their reactions, you won't be able to win them over. Sure, if someone is deliberately an asshole, you can and you should be offended. But when someone is just ignorant about how they sound with an ignorant thing they say, the worst possible reaction is to openly put them in the same category as the people who are assholes toward you. The moment you put a negative (not a little negative, but seriously bad) label on somebody, you make them hostile toward pretty much everything you say after that. Or they just don't take it seriously as (as I mentioned) these negative words are so overused, so easy to be called these, they slowly lose their real meaning.

And once again, I'm not defending Dudey111. I don't agree with him, but you reacted on his clumsy half-acceptance with labeling him bad, and lecturing about how he should change his ways of thinking. Full-frontal attack. There wasn't a single case in the history, where it changed one's mind about something. The most, you can achieve with it is to make them opress their real opinion, which is pointless. They just would don't say it out publicly and it ill fuel their small disprove to become full-out hatred, and that's gonna blow after a time. The proper way would've been to put him a transgender person's shoe, and ask how he would feel in that situation if somebody refused to accept him.