Talk:Cameron Levy/@comment-34163871-20180317204644/@comment-36277500-20190122105913

Jfor817 I'm also curious, but I'd rather ask if Cameron WANTS to be considered as guy or girl.

And, before someone throw me onto the bus for transphobia: I was in Cameron's shoes once.

In my high school I was bullied and eventually molested by bunch of stupid boys. The guy who started abuse was son of a retired principal, so teachers did nothing to defend me, or even started to blaming ME for "my problems" or "problems I was causing". Eventually, after the bullies started to threat me that they would rape me, I attempted to commit suicide, what stopped abuse. Although I avoided the worst fate for every woman, I became traumatized for about decade.

To throw away my womanhood, I used to wear breast binders or bondages, and tent-like clothes. I cut my hair very short. I never used to wear makeup before, so it was easier to me to hide my gender.

And yes, I've been considering to change my gender, but after some trials I resigned (disadvantages of male gender were more unbearable to me than female's one disadvantages). I just wanted to be sexless and genderless. And being considered as a woman was painful for me. I was happy when someone mistook me as a young boy.

Eventually, I came to understand that NOT the whole world is consisted of sexual abusers who would rape me in the very day in front of my acquaintances and friends, only because I was looking just a bit feminine. So I came out and revealed that I was a woman.

So... JJammer875751, hear me out, because I mean no harm. I know that unwanted identifying someone's gender may be paintful. But for the others, not knowing your physical gender (and I don't mean necessarily birth gender, but also the one after operation) is painful too, because it often leads to awkward, unpleasant mistakes and unintentional affronts from the one's environment. While knowing the whole circumstance, both physical and mental genders makes the environment more understanding and accepting. Many people just don't like when someone makes a big secret of things which comes to light eventually, for example during sharing the bath.

It's a biological mechanism. For an animal, it's sometimes life and death issue if another animal is the opposite gender (they mate) or the same (they fight or concur). Of course, in animal wolrd there are homosexuals, but it doesn't make this issue less significant for them (though the results are altered). Animals need to identify the other one's physical gender (mostly by the fragrance, sometimes by the looks) to survive. Or at least to let the whole species survive.

I know that humans are quite different than the other animal species. But still we share the same instinct tempting us to identify the other's gender, and lack of this knowledge it makes us feel threatened (as much as non-binar people are threatened by unwanted identifying their gender by others). This kind of curiosity is just an evolutionary mechanism, not a purposeful intention to harm or insult anyone.

And the last thing... Love interest eventually leads to sexual interest. Love may be platonic, while desire forces us to decide whether we are men or women, or at least consider such identification - I'm saying it from my own experience. I just mean that at least the love interest (Aiden) has a right to know whether he is technincally dating man or woman. Not for "deadname", threaten, offend or hurt Cameron, but just for Aiden's own knowledge. Sharing intimacy means also sharing this particular, painful secret like physical gender.

JJammer875751, you speak about transsexual people. There was a transsexual person in my workplace, born as a woman and operated into a man. But still, HE considers HIMself as a MAN. Most transsexual people has strong gender identification - though opposite to their birth gender, it's still "man" and "woman", not "it" or "they". And, still considering my acquaintance, everyone at work knew BOTH his birth and operated genders, and nobody was intentionally rude towards him; every awkwardness in new coworkers originated only from their not knowing the whole circumstance.

I'm sure that every player would accept Cameron if they came out (like: I was born as girl/boy, but I've chosen to be the opposite gender or agender, and I prefer to be addressed as he/she/they), as they accepted Andy Kang, which both genders are revealed. As you can notice, people blame Cameron not for being transsexual or non-binar, but for competing for Aiden's interest.

People just want to know your body gender, as every animal species. I know that coming out may be painful for you. But please, take into account, that every prejudice and discrimination is born by ignorance, while every tolerance and acceptance is born by knowledge.