Thread:LoveLightandPeace/@comment-38677784-20200321181330/@comment-45192609-20200406190459

Yes, exactly. They should know how difficult something was to prepare and pay you accordingly.

Okay that makes sense why Lucifer isn’t showing his true face to others. I can imagine people freaking out, believing that he’s evil and they would probably hate on him for just that reason. Haha that big bang theory is funny! XD Can imagine how he would connect that with sex. And there will be more seasons? That’s awesome! :) I’d like to see the celestial beings. I wonder how they will be as characters. Sometimes if people make a typical bad character good, they could make vise versa.

Hmm well I am spiritually very evolved. I went through spiritual awakenings, and enlightement. I am wiser than my age as I am an old soul, this is why not many speak my language. That’s okay though. So you spared Gaius in the book because you knew that he will really stay good, but you wouldn’t spare him in real life because you’d doubt him. Right? But do you have a sharp intuition? I do, and I can easily tell if someone is lying or speaking the truth. Gaius spoke the truth. When the MC locked eyes with him, she felt his emotions. They were genuine. He was vulnerable and emotionally exposed. There was no fakery, there were no lies. But raw truth. I literally could feel his sadness and regret and I could easily feel that if I would have met him in real life because that’s how intuition works. How can a person like that just change back to being evil and kill? Did you never watched the flashbacks? Gaius was good before he got turned... He even had a wife whom he loved, wasn’t a ruthless killer. He was never perfect, neither are we, but he was never that monster that Rheya made him to be. You can’t compare him to Kamilah and Adrian, sorry. Tbh I would have a bigger problem believing Kamilah and Adrian than Gaius, because they were capable of cruelty with only manipulation, whereas Gaius had his existence altered, nice memories whiped away so his situation cannot be compared to anyone elses, only if Adrian and Kamilah would’ve went through the same. What kind of person would Kamilah or Adrian be if this were to happen to them? If they were already cruel after only just being manipulated... We don’t want to know.

Yet Adrian and Kamilah had that sudden change of heart because of a small trigger. Wow, very convincing. Why would you believe in real life these two after they’d change? Gaius changed after the MC freed him from control not because of a small trigger.

Let’s just be honest for a moment... it’s not that Gaius commited crimes that some of you don’t like him, it’s because of his personality. XD He isn’t likable for you, thus why forgiving him is harder. Imagine Adam from AME telling the MC that he has killed hundreds of innocent people in past, but that he is different person now, changed. He will say he wants to be better. You’d have a very easier time forgiving him. You love him, you tolerate him. Gaius is not “lovable” character to many because he has a powerful, intimidating personality, a dangerous manly looking face, is not a people pleaser like most people are, is nonchalant, and speaks his opinion. People don’t like such strong personalities. They prefer overly nice people. I am very similar to him though, and let me tell you, although I haven’t killed anyone in past, nor bullied, people have a hard time forgiving me for little things, whereas people they love/like have made bigger mistakes, but they have such easy time forgiving them. Because why can’t I be forgiven for a small mistake I made in past, which was coming home at 1am instead 10pm (and I was already an adult), but someone who has said cruel things and almost physically beaten up the same person, deserves instant forgiveness and they never apologized like I did? See? It makes no sense... it’s just because I am not “lovable” enough... that’s it. Literally. Same like Gaius. He isn’t like Adrian who is a huge sweety, he isn’t overly nice... he is manly and dominant unlike Adrian who seems so passive/submissive to me. So it’s easier forgiving Adrian because he is soooo cuteeee, then Gaius who isn’t cute at all. It’s easy to forgive a cute kitten for destroying your furniture than your annoying neighbour’s old dog for barking at 3am.

You can argue with my logic, but it’s true. If Gaius were a real person he wouldn’t be a vampire, as vampires wouldn’t exist, so how would he be more powerful than Adrian? You’d just literally wish him death only because of... fear? You know that fear is created by your Ego who will do anything to keep your body alive. If you think in terms of Spirit, you will see it never agrees with your Ego. That I was glad that Gaius died in 2nd book was because of my Ego. No matter how spiritually evolved someone is we all have an Ego. It literally tells us “Do anything for survival”. This is why people can be greedy, power hungry etc. But my Ego is miniature. So if Gaius were real, and my intuition would tell me that he really wants to become a better person, I’d do anything in my power to keep him alive, even if I would have to die for him. Who cares. Why would my life be more worthy than his? Because I never killed? My life isn’t more worthy. If he deserves to die, so do I. Because atm Gaius is good, that’s all that matters. We always have to give someone the benefit of doubt if they trully wish to change. Who are we to decide who lives and who doesn’t? You wouldn’t do the world any favor by killing him, because you’d kill a potential good person just because of your uneccessary fear? What if someone would kill me because I would be in “their way”. And they’d say “I wanted that first place, but that b1tch was a threat. I believe she’d definitely win the first place although I am not so sure she would, but better safe than sorry eh?”. I am speechless.

I met someone who disliked me for no reason, while at the same time they completely supported Adolf Hitler, saying how he had a PURE SOUL, and that he should’ve still lived. “He never killed anyone, he just told others to kill... such a misunderstood person!” Gross!!! But me? They just couldn’t stand me. I watch how everyone is defending vile people around me, psychopaths and worse... while they would go hating on me because I am not a weak minded person, I am no people pleaser, I speak my mind and no one can control me. That’s a perfect recipe for being utterly hated! And Gaius is the same like me. Everyone who hates Gaius I feel like they’d have easy time hating me as well. Maybe even you would despise me as well once you’d get to know me in rl, who knows?

Truth speakers like myself have no friends.. only enemies. No one likes me, and the only person who loves me in real life is the love of my life who is almost exactly like Gaius. If Gaius were real I am sure he’d like/love me, and I would have two people loving me. It’s a sad Truth but it is Truth nonetheless so I accept it.

I bet if my family would know about Gaius (no one plays Choices), they’d all utterly despise him. They despise me. So I wouldn’t wonder.

Ha, what a sad talk, but I am not hurt in any way. XD So I am not looking for pity. I accepted that Truth long time ago. I had to. If people think Bieber and Trump are hated, I’d probably won the gold award for the most hated/disliked person on the whole planet. :D And I haven’t even sinned! XD Ha! I ain’t no criminal. I don’t even have to be. It’s just my personality. Imagine if I would’ve been a huge criminal... NOTHING would’ve changed! Hehehe. People would just have an easier “excuse” to hate me nothing else. :)

No matter how hard I try, how good I am, I am never good enough for anyone except for this single guy in rl. I am perfect for him just the way I am. He’d go against the whole world to protect me, defend me, keep me safe. And like I said before... he is almost 90% like Gaius. So let me tell you, if Gaius would’ve never ever commited any crime, you and every Gaius hater, would still not be able to like him. XD You don’t have to disagree, because I can already feel it. Like I can feel your annoyance through your recent message clearly. You were so bothered by the things I said it’s evident from your words. I can’t even speak my mind without offending anyone. But sugar coating words because people are hyper sensitive isn’t my thing. I prefer being disliked than trying to please everyone. I am done with pleasing people and trying to fit in. I was never good enough back then, and I will only be good enough for those who deserve me, so all I have to do is be myself.

Yes, I don’t usually do that either, imagining myself kissing a fictional character. But by Gaius is different, because I am in love with him, so why should I keep imagining him with the MC? Who even says the MC loves him? Gaius is not even a LI, so I am not even “stealing” any LI’s... Also Gaius remained single after BB3 ended, even in that scene one year in the future Gaius is still single. So he is my fictional LI, not MC’s LI. If he’d be official LI in the game, I would feel like I am stealing MC her LI since I would make them come together. But that’s clearly not the case, so I am fine. XD

You know I was thinking on quitting Fandom... Ever since BB3 was over, I just don’t see a reason for continuing being online here anymore and I am just forcing myself practically (and it’s suffocating me)... So perhaps I will leave and never return. I decided I won’t post anything anymore either and commenting under posts that don’t interest me is pointless too. So maybe you don’t have to even bother replying. :) Use that time for chatting either with people here or your family. It was still lovely meeting you and talking with you.

Maybe I will still check Fandom tomorrow or in two days, but I am just letting you know in case you’d wonder why my sudden disappearance.

Take care of yourself and your family~