User blog:PurplePassion20/Funny Moments

One thing I like about the Choices books is their humor, ranging from well-timed pop culture references to banter between characters. Almost every book, regardless of genre, has a decent number of laugh-out-loud moments. So I thought I'd list a few from each series. Feel free to share your favourite funny moment as well. For reference, each nameable character will have their default name. Also, the list will be updated in time.

It Lives Beneath

 * In the very first chapter Elliot comments on how hungry he is, despite having eaten five corndogs and most of Harper's gummy bears at the movies. He tries to justify his hunger by claiming that he's overdue for a growth spurt.
 * Tom's reaction to a customer calling him "Boat Boy":
 * Tom: Bro, I just spent four hours elbow-deep in your boat's engine so it won't explode during your next joyride. Maybe learn my name?
 * The fact that one of the hors d'oeuvres served at the yacht party is black truffle bagel bites with gold flakes. It goes to show just how rich and pretentious some of the Pine Springs residents are.
 * Robbie elaborates on the residents attitudes in Chapter 7:
 * Robbie: They hate everything unless it's covered in gold and has its own personal chef.
 * After the events of Chapter 1 Harper collapses onto their bed, exhausted. Moments later, Elliot protests that he picked that same bed. Harper states that nothing short of a forklift will move them from the bed.
 * When Harper shows up to Ned Mallory's house, Ned's initial response:
 * Ned (to Harper): What, the cops get tired of telling me I'm crazy, so they sent you instead?!
 * In Chapter 4, Danni states that she's so sick of the food at the coffee shop she works at that she would rather chew glass than eat another one of their muffins.
 * Harper calling Parker "Officer Buzzkill" for expressing concern at petting the Otter.
 * Tom trying (and failing) to come up with a plausible excuse for why he was near the docks in Chapter 5:
 * Harper: How did you even find us? Were you following me?
 * Tom (surprised): What, no! I was out, uhhh, jogging!
 * Danni (unconvinced): With a baseball bat.
 * Tom (anxious): To baseball! I was jogging to baseball!
 * Parker: (even less convinced): At night.
 * Also, Tom calling the two-headed bear monster Yogi and Booboo.
 * Any time Harper refers to Richard Sutcliffe as "Dick".
 * In Chapter 8, Harper discovers that Grandpa Arthur is a member of the cult and tries to tell Elliot, who refuses to listen. When Harper asks Elliot if they've ever lied to him, Elliot brings up the time that Harper told him that consuming Pop Rocks and Coke together would make his stomach explode (it didn't).
 * In Chapter 10, while swimming in the lake, Harper gets something wrapped around their leg and can't get it off. Thinking it was another monster, Harper frantically scrambles to the shore and after everyone panics, they discover that it was nothing more than a bit of seaweed. Cue everyone bursting into laughter.
 * Harper: Hahaha! Some ghost!
 * If your group's overall nerve score is low in Chapter 12, Tom suggests calling the FBI for help after being asked if he has any ideas on how to deal with their current predicament. The group is less than thrilled and Imogen sums the idea up best:
 * Imogen: Besides, what are they gonna do, arrest the lake?
 * During a premium choice in Chapter 13, Parker sarcastically asks if they should get the Ghostbusters to testify against The Society.
 * In the same chapter, Elliot frantically tries to text Harper and autocorrect isn't helping:
 * Elliot (texting): WILL YOU ANSWER YOUR DUCKING PHONE
 * DUCKING
 * OMG FORGET IT
 * During a premium choice in Chapter 13, Harper and Parker disguise themselves as members of The Society. Harper says they both look like NPCs from Skyrim. Grandpa Arthur has no clue what they're talking about.
 * During a premium choice in Chapter 13, Harper and Parker disguise themselves as members of The Society. Harper says they both look like NPCs from Skyrim. Grandpa Arthur has no clue what they're talking about.

Perfect Match

 * The fact that one of Khaan Mousavi's aliases was Richard Cummings. The jokes about his name were inevitable.
 * Kai: Do you think his friends call him Di--
 * Damien: Ugh, why are you like this?
 * Sloane's first attempt at trash-talking during the orientation week in Chapter 8:
 * Sloane: My project will beat your project so hard, it will make your mother fat. And also, I'm having sexual relations with her.
 * Both Cecile's and Damien's reactions if you ask Cecile to make out in the final chapter. You also get an "achievement" called Unquenchable Thirst, with the description "Seriously, Kai?".

Big Sky Country

 * This priceless line from Cliff, just before he tears up the Agrocorp contract:
 * Cliff (to Garrett Redmond): Kiss my wrinkled white ass!

The Heist: Monaco

 * A lot of the chapter names are pretty funny.
 * In Chapter 4, when discussing the possibly of codenames, Anton asks if he can be called "Shadowhawk". Rye then tells him codenames are cancelled after that.
 * Peter Graves' deliberately bad acting in Chapter 6:
 * Graves: Cruel trumpets, I toot back at you! Toot-toooom!
 * (An indeterminate amount of time later...)
 * Graves: Am I a man? Or am I a fetus? For what makes a--
 * Heckler: BOOOOO! You suck!
 * Anton on a caffeine high after drinking too many espresso shots in Chapter 13.

Bloodbound

 * Lily pours two glasses of wine to celebrate Amy getting the job as Adrian Raines assistant, then Amy suddenly remembers that she forgot to give Adrian his red mandrake.
 * Lily (as Amy rushes off): So... I realised I poured this for us to drink together... but some poor grapes gave their lives for this wine and it would be a tragedy to waste it... (drinks both her wine and Amy's).
 * Amy telling The Baron to "sit your punk ass down" during the Council meeting in Chapter 16.