Talk:Ethan Ramsey/@comment-37434202-20190413071154/@comment-36277500-20190528162325

Amen, sister! Same here!

I flirted with him before (because I have soft point for bosses), but the more I got to know him, the more I felt "thanks, but no, thanks". So I restarted the book.

In real world, if you romance your boss... Most bosses are married, and often have children about your age or even older than you - because they are usually a whole generation older than you (in their 50s-60s). Most of them won't divorce for a mere bratty girl/boy, and they don't want complications like pregnancy or gossips. Most bosses want safe, stable, convenient and illegitimate affair without consequences... They would never see you as an equal, despite the degree of intimacy you are sharing - they are bosses even in bed, unless they order otherwise... Your boss is allowed to have other affairs aside you, and can dump you in a second if they want. And you can't pay them back in the same way, if you don't want to jeopardize your work... Aside these unequal rules, it's a heavy mental strain, because you must live in constant lie and conspiracy, hiding like a criminal, often loaded with huge guilt trip for your boss' spouse. It's not life for everyone. To fall in love with your boss, you must have very specific mentality (of a beaten dog, precisely)...

What I mean... Most of (romanceable) bosses are stable and safe, they know perfectly what they want (plucking fresh flowers before they wilt) and they don't hesitate to take it. It's like a deal: you give them your youth, they give you their knowledge, experience and protection.

Ethan... is neither safe, nor stable. He has no wife and children (he claims that he doesn't want them, but what if he suddenly demands it from me?). I didn't sleep with him, so I don't even know whether he cares about safe sex! And since he couldn't cure Dr. Banerji, he doesn't have even stable job. He isn't even discreet enough, so if you romance him, everyone knows about it (Naveen, Harper, Sienna). He's also too young to be "stable and safe" - in his 30s, when many people are still single. And he seems to not know what he wants himself.

He's also rude, abusive, unjust, hotheaded, irresponsible, manipulative, constantly lying and insincere (not only to MC, but also to himself). Despite his roughness, he's actually weak and vulnerable. I don't rule out some personality disorder, maybe borderline? He also drinks too much, I'm afraid... And, what is most important, he's unprofessional in many ways - that's why he doesn't blame MC for unprofessional deed of mercy, while he blames them for minor things... But on the top of this, despite being boss and love interest, he's totally usele...unable to protect me from Harper's wrath, neither as boss, nor as a man.

That's why I don't want to get involved with him further than as friend. He's utterly unpredictable both as boss and as a man.